Just to show you that I'm still kickin', and that there is life after the Writer's Strike, Diggin' Dursin found this tasty tidbit (well, okay, it's everywhere, but since it's my story for this site, I'll take all the credit): "Heroes" co-stars Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia are more than costars and are now schtupping.  It has created such a stir in Hollywood that it's even been given a name - HALO.  Hmmmm.  Not bad.  better than TomKat, but slightly behind "Bennifer."  The fact that Milo is 30 and our little Hayden is 12 (okay, 18) gives hope to losers like me everywhere.

Here's a link to a video from TMZ with some stuff about it: 

In real news, Tim Kring gave an interview to somebody (look it up) where he said that the next installment of "Heroes" will be much darker and be called "Villains," and he and his staff will learn from past sins and not wait until halfway through the damn thing to reveal what in the blue Hell is going on.  Kring feels that the audience doesn't want to wait an entire season these days to see the cast come together to fight the big eveil at the end, and we want to see all our faves from the beginning.  I don't think he kows what we want really, but I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, if for no other reason than we'll be so starved for new stuff by then, we'd watch The Micah Show.

Until next time, Helixers!  Enjoy the football and reality TV.
 

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week: I was remiss when I mentioned all the Star Trek alumni on Heroes (Uhura and Sulu) and failed to mention Cristine Rose, who plays Angela Petrelli, and also played a Klingon in Star Trek The Next Generation.  To my knowledge, she is also the only person who played a Klingon who didn't have to wear any make-up.  With all these Star Trek references, I really want to roll out my favorite joke about what Spock found in Kirk's toilet, but I probably better not.

Anyway, this week, Kring promised us an "out of the blue cliffhanger".  I guess he wasn't wrong, but he also didn't really say anything about this cliffhanger being entertaining.  Let me ask this question; do you think that each season of Heroes will end with Nathan Petrelli dying?

The big cliffhanger was Nathan getting assassinated just before revealing that he and a whole bunch of other people have powers.  Maybe it was because he knew too much.  Maybe it was because he had developed the worst haircut ever.  Maybe it was because Kring ran out of ideas.  In any case, I'm fairly certain we'll find out it was Noah who did him in, or if not, then we're being made to think it was.  Hey, why not off the biological father of your adopted daughter?  Eliminate the competition.

Other than that, the epic struggle between Hiro and Peter wasn't all that epic, Peter's 180 to the dark side lasted about five seconds, Claire and West had a pretty lame break-up, and the Micah/Monica tag team did a fairly good job of killing Micah's mom.  All in all, it worked out to a pretty underwhelming finale.  The whole thing just seemed a little rushed, like Kring knew they had messed this whole season up and wanted to just get it over with as soon as possible.  All of the slow burns that that had been building for the last three months were pretty much snuffed out without much fanfare, and nobody seemed to really act according to character.  Like, I know Adam Monroe was a bad dude, but burying someone alive is a pretty awful thing to do.  What kind of Hero does that?  I suppose we should have all seen the Veronica Mars turn coming, because girls that cute never play the vixen for very long.  And I guess Parkman has really been doing his homework because he suddenly knew how to use his mind-control power at the end of the episode to whip a whole press conference together and make people listen.  I suppose it makes sense.  I don't even listen to our own President.  Why should I listen to this old drunk?

Hopefully, the writers (if they ever return) will completely re-tool this thing for the next volume, because this season was pretty much a wash.  There was just too much time wasted on these silly characters like Maya and Monica.  I would be happy to never see any of them again except that I've invested so much time in them I at least am curious to see what becomes of them.  Thankfully, it looks like Ali Larter is out of the way, although it will probably just mean more screen time for Micah and a lot of blubbering next time we see him.  What would be great is if he became a huge bad-ass seeking revenge against criminals everywhere, like Batman with the power to control machines.  That would be something different.  But it would require cajones, which is something that this show sorely lacks sometimes.

I guess that's it for me for awhile.  I don't know how long this writer's strike will last, but I'll surely be back when Heroes resumes.  Maybe I'll even chime in sometime if I can think if anything interesting to write about.  Thanks for reading everybody.  Feel free to leave a comment if you think of some Meaningless Heroes Trivia I can use sometime.  For now, Happy Helixer Holidays to you all.   

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week: Jimmy Jean-Louis, a.k.a. The Haitian, and is actually from Haiti, came from some humble beginnings, with no shirt, no shoes, no service.  He rose to stardom taking people's memories on Heroes after appearing on the big screen in such flops as "Tears of the Sun" and "Hollywood Homicide."  Good thing the show came along when it did.  Don't quit your day job, Jimmy.

So I finally watched the last two weeks of Heroes and got caught up.  I'm enjoying these last few weeks, but it seems almost bittersweet because I know how rushed it all was, thanks to both the writer's strike and the fact that the first, oh, seven weeks or so of this season was spent on the Wonder Twins and Micah's weeping.  Now, we're moving at breakneck speed, since next week will wrap up this arc and maybe this season unless the writers come back to work.

This week, we saw a lot of fallout from Noah's presumed assassination from the week before.  I'm glad he's not dead, but I think it would have been more dramatic if we didn't see him actually revived last week and the episode ended with him getting shot.  The way this show usually works, with people getting killed but brought back through time travel or whatever, it makes it more interesting to wonder if they are really dead than see them brought back two minutes after they are shot in the face.  Especially since we know that Noah has no powers, so I think it really would have made people think a little more.  But who wants that out of a TV show, right?

I did like the idea that Claire was really tortured about this, because of the whole "I can recover from anything, but this hurts" deal.  It would make sense that she would be desensitized from physical pain, but not the emotional stuff.  So, I applaud the writers on that one.  It would have been nice to delve into it even more, but with so many characters, it's difficult to focus too long on one.  Plus, at the rate we're going on this show, character development has gone bye-bye-bye.

Speaking of which, let's talk for a moment about this Monica storyline, because we haven't seen this character for weeks, and suddenly she's back and still not doing anything except taking up air time.  She's apparently trying to do the super-hero thing by rescuing Micah's comic book from the evil, gun-toting middle school bullies.  Will someone tell me why I'm supposed to care?  In the context of the show, the planet is facing Armageddon, with billions of people in danger of being wiped out from a plague, and somehow, the audience is supposed to get all worked up over a stolen comic book?  I won't applaud the writers on that one, because that's really dumb.  Even with D.L.'s medal thrown in, I can't bring myself to give a crap about this.  I know a little about screenwriting and you have to have stakes that people will feel are important.  Even if they're not, you have to make people feel that they are.  In simple terms, in Dodgeball, it wasn't enough that Vince Vaughn's team wins.  They had to win or he would lose his business.  Now, those stakes don't seem like a whole lot if you've never been to that gym, but within the context of the movie, it works because the writers made us care as an audience.  Within the context of Heroes, if the Shanti virus is released and 93% of the population is wiped out, I'm betting nobody is going to cry about some stupid comic book.  I'm sure most of the comic dealers will be in that 93% anyway.  I was glad Monica got caught.  I hope they throw away the key.

Okay, that was my sermon for the week.  Back on a positive note, I actually did enjoy Sylar and Mya's scenes this week, with Sylar getting all Magneto from X-men 2 on her, basically turning her to the dark side.  Again, we haven't seen them for a few weeks, but they came back and it didn't seem like they weren't doing anything.  Now, they have poor Molly as a bargaining chip (Parkman must have fallen asleep or something.) and I'm betting Sylar will try to get Mohinder to give him his mojo back.  That Sylar's got it going on now, and all he had to do was make nice with Mya.  He even killed her brother and made out with her with his body decomposed a few feet away.  Now that's a real man.

As we gear up for the finale, we will hopefully see all this wrapped up, plus a pretty good knock-down, drag-out between Hiro and Peter, which can only be compared to the Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior struggle from Wrestlemania VI, only without the steroids.  We'll also get to see David Anders hatch his scheme, probably Noah returned to his family, and maybe even Nathan Petrelli, who hasn't been seen for awhile.  lot of ground to cover there, and about 43 minutes to do it in.  If we're all very nice, maybe Monica will end up on the cutting room floor.

As I sign off, I want everyone to check out this link, and marvel at how Dursin's pick for the Heroes fans' name reigns supreme.  Well, by one vote, but, hey, Bush lost an election and he still became President, so I guess I can enjoy this.  Aurevoir, Helixers.

I must preface this week's column with an admission that I haven't watched Heroes this week. I was at Springsteen on Monday night , and with the holiday fast approaching, I may or may not get a chance to watch it this week. I promise a double-dose of my brilliance next week.

However, I do have something to talk about, because this past Saturday, I journeyed to NYC for the Big Apple Comicon. My friend, who is a freelance colorist, was invited to attend a panel and he invited me along for the ride. As luck would have it, also in attendance was Hayden Panettierre.

For the uninitiated, a convention like this one usually entails hundreds of comic book and toy dealers, one or two actual current celebrities (Hayden and Kristin Bell in this case, although Bell was only there on Sunday), and about twenty people who can only be referred to as has-beens.  Basically, if you've ever been on the set of a Sci-Fi-themed TV show, been in porn, or set foot in a wrestling ring, you're eligible to shop your head-shots at these things, and charge $20 a pop.  Seriously.  And if you happen to know someone who is still a big fan of Brutus Beefcake or King Kong Bundy, stop in and shell out twenty for their signature. It's sure to be a keepsake.

Nevertheless, I thought this would be a nice opportunity to meet one of my favorite actors and go partying in New York , so I went. While my friend attended to business, I sought out the line for Hayden Panettierre, fully prepared to have to wait in line for several days.  Imagine my surprise when I saw a throng of about four people (Yeesh, I know ratings are down this season, but it's still a hot chick at a comic convention. You'd think she would draw some kind of crowd.)

I asked one of the convention workers if this was indeed the line, and he said, "Well, his is the VIP line, so you'd have to go over there," indicating a separate line that also had no one in it.

"But there's no one over there," I noted.

"Yeah, you can just jump the ropes and go on in."  Helluva job there.

So, I approached the coveted cheerleader, and gladly laid down $25 for a head-shot for her to sign. The large man who sold me the photo asked if I wanted it personalized. I almost said, “Yes, can you have her sign it to ‘Beloved eBay Customer?’” but I decided to just say “Matt.” Less obvious.

As I waited for my turn, I noticed a woman sitting behind her that looked like it could have been her mother, which I found odd. When I met Billy Dee Williams I didn't see his mom around.  I started to think about what to say, and then I was stopped. The dude in front of me was apparently from the same town as Hayden, and started asking her about people who may or may not have babysat for her when she was two. Hayden started asking her Mom if she should know any of these people, and I stood there, patiently awaiting my turn, starting to feel a little silly.  While still talking to this dude who refused to leave, she signed my photo and barely acknowledged my presence.  Finally, I forced myself to stick my hand out and said, "big fan."  She shook it, and I was off.  And that was that.  Five hours on a bus for five seconds with Hayden Panettierre. I freely admit it wasn't worth it.

Still, I'm glad I did it, and I'm glad that this girl will always have a place at these conventions regardless of where her career heads after Heroes goes away (which it will someday, and probably sooner than we think.) She will always be "Claire" from Heroes to the unwashed comic fan. Hell, I was just reading an article about Sarah Michelle Gellar , who has three movies coming out this year, and the headline was still "Buffy is Back." She's 30 years-old. Give it up.

I could have belted out, "Hey Claire, I write a Heroes column online. How about an interview or a shout-out to your fans in Boston, or maybe show some leg?" But I'm glad I didn't.  Because, even though I'm not from the same town as her, we do have something in common.  To me, she is just a hot chick who happens to be on a show I watch. To her, I am nothing.

Call me jaded, but I see little relationship between the people on TV and the people who watch it. And those people on TV will claim until they’re blue in the face that they do these conventions to connect with the fans and answer their questions, but at $25 a signature, I’m thinking that meeting the fans isn’t really the highlight of the weekend. And if I’m being completely honest with myself, it wasn’t even the highlight of my weekend. I am perhaps the least star-struck person walking, but I can’t help it. Hayden Panettierre seems like a nice girl, and she’s definitely a cutie, but there are hundreds of cute girls in Hollywood. She just happens to be on the show I write about. In the end, we all just folk, and I really don’t see anything wrong with that.

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week: Just to make nerds everywhere wet their pants with glee, Zachary "Sylar" Quinto has been cast to play Spock in the new Star Trek re-make.  Everyone knows that, probably, but here's a pic for you, because Dursin always, always, aims to please:

 He looks kind of like that dude in Star Trek III who played the young Spock when he was on Genesis and was aging rapidly.  Guy went trhough puberty in five minutes, lucky son-of-a...  Anyway, Quinto will strap his Katra on and go Vulcan alongside Eric Bana, Simon Pegg of Shaun of the Dead fame and Leonard Nimoy himself, so he better do good or he'll get a neck pinch thing.  It's kind of interesting that Nimoy would come back, since he was always so down on Star Trek.  Maybe he's seeing how well Shatner is doing and figured it was time to get back out there before VH-1 calls.

Anyway, the general consensus of this week's episode of Heroes is that this is where the season really begins and the rest of that stuff was just filler.  I don't really subscribe to that notion, mostly because I would feel like I really wasted seven hours of my life right there, but creator Tim Kring himself came out and said that he had made a mistake and that the second half of season 2 would be better.  Uh, Thanks, Tim.  Way to inspire confidence in people.  I'm sure your writers weren't happy enough to be on strike and not getting paid, they need to hear from their boss that all their hard work was junk.

Kring's exact quotes (week, as exact as Entertainment Weekly got them here) was "''The message is that we've heard the complaints — and we're doing something about it.''  Apparently, the episode slated for December 3rd has been re-tooled to act as a season finale in the event the strike delays production, and when the show returns, it'll be a whole new ballgame.  Kring also had a funny quote about Claire and West, saying, ''In retrospect, I don't think romance is a natural fit for us.''  Amen on that one, brother.  Amen.

This week was a step in the right direction, despite the fact that we didn't see Claire, Noah, Hiro, Parkman, Mohinder or most of the other characters who are doing actual interesting things.  Most of the focus of this episode was on Peter, who apparently did nothing for four months in between seasons except sit in jail and get hit on by Kristen Bell.  Oddly, he didn't even seemed that into it.  Hmmm.  He also formed a bond with fellow inmate David Anders, who had apparently been there for thirty years.  I guess when you live for a few hundred, 30 is a drop in a bucket.  Still, pretty boring.

Things jazzed up for them when they broke out and went to save Peter's brother, who Peter remembered hospitalizing after the whole Kirby Plaza explosion at the end of last season.  Apparently, Anders' healing power translates to his blood and can work on other folk, which makes me think that Claire should probably consider med school.  A quick shot of super-blood, and Nathan goes from Anakin Skywalker to handsome politician again.  Only problem is that his mom chased off his wife while he was out, telling the poor woman that Nathan was delusional and she should not tell anyone, but head for the hills anyway.  And like a dutiful wife, she did just that without a word.  Ahh, marriage.

Unfortunately, we also saw what Micah and his two Dads have been up to for four months.  D.L. survived the gunshot wound from last season, but refused Micah's suggestion that they become the Fantastic Three, instead becoming a fire fighter, which was about the only cool thing that he ever did.  Meanwhile, his charming wife found another personality in there and ran off to California to be a skank.  Y'know, it's kind of easy to see why this woman became an online stripper.  Anyway, D.L. somehow tracks her down, despite the fact that the population of Los Angeles is about 5 million. and is promptly shot right in front of her face by a drugged out raver.  Even though she has been known to have super-strength when under duress, Niki/Jessica/Jeanie/Moe just stood there and watched it happen, and didn't seem that broken up.  I don't see why they brought him back in the first place just to kill him off again.  Ah, well, he was a loser, anyway.

In the end, Peter was locked in an empty freight and shipped off to Ireland after having his memory stolen by The Haitian, but we already knew that (At least, we should have seen that Haitian bit coming.)  Now, Pete and Adam have just a couple weeks to stop viral Armageddon, because December 3rd will be here before you know it.  They better stop wasting time on Uhura and the Wonder twins.  meanwhile, I'm off to stalk Hayden at the Big Apple Comic Con this weekend.  I'll try and bring back some finger nail clippings to auction off.  Next week, Helixers!  

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week: In what may be the most meaningless fact to everyone but me, this is my 20th Heroes column here at Bostonsportz.com.  You know how when you first start dating someone and you celebrate every little anniversary like it's a big deal?  It's kind of like that, only without the snogging.

Link Up: Dig this!  If you ever doubted that Dursin ruled the world, check out the link and see for yourself.  The poll conducted over at Heroestheseries.com on the name for Heroes fans has been up for a week, and lookie whose choice is in the lead with 44% of the vote.  That's right, Helixers, you have spoken.  I don't know how long they plan on running the thing, but if it ended today, the popular vote would be for Helixers.  Of course, the popular vote doesn't always matter in this country, so, moving on.

After a few slow weeks at the beginning of the season, the past two weeks of Heroes have moved ahead at a breakneck pace (and please note that the episodes get more interesting the less the they focus on the Wonder Twins and the jumping bean with the photographic memory.)  and the layers of the onion have begun to peel away, revealing more and more layers.  Some things may be moving too fast, as I was disappointed to see the paintings burned so quickly, and the whole Parkman/Pudgy Bald Dad scenario seems to have played itself out already.

That seemed to be the theme this week, as we had a very Star Wars-esque duel between Hiro and Kensei (I think they even lifted the line, "I know there's good in him.") and the whole Parkman/Dad inner turmoil was very similar to the Luke/Vader stuff.  I mean, very cool, but they could have at least given Lucas some credit.  I guess there are only so many dramatic situations.

In the end, it seemed that good triumphed over evil, as Hiro saved feudal Japan and Parkman vanquished the evil fat man.  However, like any good villain, David Anders would not go quietly.  He showed up at the end and revealed himself as Adam Monroe, who is apparently more evil than any other evil person we've ever seen.  This, of course, raises oodles of questions, like what the Hell is he doing in the present?  My theory is that he's like Peter, and can take on the powers of those he comes in contact with, because we've seen him use Claire's powers of invulnerability, and he seems to be able to jump through time.  And I wouldn't be surprised if he did some of those paintings himself.  Or does his invulnerability make him immune to aging as well?  Anyway, he is clearly the Dr. Doom of this season, and who can blame him, after Hiro stole his chick?  It's fine by me because he is a great actor and British, and they're always funny, so the more he's on the show, the better.

Let's see, what else?  OH!  In a few months time, we'll all be dead.  That Shanti virus is apparently a real bugaboo, as it apparently wipes out 93% of the population.  Let's hope me and Claire are in that 7%.  It does seem as though she will be the key, though, so once again the goal this season will be to save the cheerleader and the world.  Hey, anything that gets her away from West, who is about the most annoying character I've ever seen on TV.  I mean, waffles?

In the end, it seems that there is a mammoth disaster afoot that must be averted by our beloved heroes (I sense a theme here).  The question is how all the characters will come together during the course of events.  We have people all over space and time, and we don't even know who to trust.  We've got Bob with some strange agenda, Noah going back to his old ways (as if he ever left), Niki who could go nutters at any moment (how many personalities does she have, anyway?), and Mohinder ratting Noah out and now he's packing.  the only one who has shown any type of sanity is Nathan, who was able to talk Niki down while she was on the nightmare planet.  I'm surprised he didn't mention that night they shared in Vegas last season, unless maybe that would mean another trip to the nightmare planet for her.  Who knows?

 

So that was my 20th anniversary.  Hope you enjoyed it, but if you didn't, well, you can't un-read it.  Until next week,... Helixers. 

I wanted to throw this out there, to garner interest, and show everyone that I am indeed the most influential Heroes columnist on the web (and that and a buck will get me... a buck.)

Anyway, this tasty link will bring you to a Heroes forum, where as we speak there is a poll going as to what Heroes fans should be called.  And yes, I am quoted right at the top.  Hail, Dursin!  And vote Quimby!

Héros sans signification Trivia de la semaine - How's that international flavor for you?  Dursin always aims to please.  So, the trivia.  Well According to IMDB, which has been wrong before, Claire's long-forgotten friend, Zach, was supposed to be gayer than a three dollar bill, and his coming out and dealing with that was supposed to mirror Claire's dealing with her newfound abilities (much like Iceman's "coming out" to his parents as a mutant in X-men 2, directed by Bryan Singer, who is also gay).  When Thomas Dekkar's (whom played Zach) manager learned of this, she thought that playing a gay character would affect his chances of snagging the role of John Connor on Fox's The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  Things got crazy, and Dekkar was eventually pulled from the show.  he did get the part on Chronicles, so it all worked out in the end for everyone, except the rightfully upset Zach fans, if there were any.

So, happy Halloween everyone.  I know a lot of peeps here in Boston got their free taco yesterday, but a friend of mine just gave me a Qdoba gift card for Halloween, so I'll be getting mine today (and I have to say, Taco Bell is compost compared to Qdoba.)

So, I had been working long and hard (well, in my head) on a post about how Heroes on the whole was a very "safe" show that never really went for the jugular, especially the main goodies, like Claire, Hiro and Peter.  I think that's why I thought Isaac and HRG were so cool, because they actually showed some guts and some real human emotion.  Most of these guys were pretty vanilla, and let's face it, that's not very realistic.  We're all people, and deep down, we're all just tortured spazzes.  Well, I had to throw that whole thing out the window because, this week, we finally get to see some blood and guts on this show, and from those same main goodies.  Hiro snogged another man's woman, Claire used some nefarious means (and her powers) to bully her way onto the cheer leading team, and Peter vowed to avenge that Irish guy who got fried by Veronica Mars last week.  This is what the show needs, especially  this season, when they can't get by on the whole "Wowza!  I've got powers!" schtick anymore.  The writers need to create conflict now with the characters that they molded last season.  This week, they started doing that.      

First, we have Claire, who was told that she wasn't "extraordinary" enough to be on the cheer leading team (maybe it was her choice of cheer.  I mean, recycling?  I'm all for the environment, but I don't see that one rallying the team.)  So, she used her conniving ways, invulnerability and West to get that witch-ay woman booted for drinking on campus and for generally being a mean person.  My only bugaboo with this is that I thought she was just telling her father that she was trying out for cheer leading so she and West could have time for more flying make-out sessions.  I didn't know she was actually doing it.  Maybe West begged her to do it so he could see her in the outfit.  Whatever, that guy's a tool, anyway, and he's apparently whipped, so that makes me hate him even more.  Although, when your girlfriend is invulnerable, i guess you have no choice to be whipped.  What can you possibly do to her, right?

Moving on, Hiro expressed his love for Yaeko, and vice versa, it seems, much to the chagrin of Kensei, who saw them kissing in the woods.  I feel, ya, bud.  Who among us haven't been there?  A guy from 400 years in the future with the power to move through time and space stealing a kiss from the very woman that he set you up with?  It's Romeo and Juliet all over again.  On the other hand, though, Hiro is making time with a chick who, from his perspective, is long dead.  Boy, time travel sure wreaks havoc on one's love life, don't it?  Anyway, in the end, Kensei got his licks in, punching Hiro dead in the face and turning him over to White Beard, who promised him anything he wants in return.  I expected him to ask for a keg, but I guess we'll have to wait until next week to find out what he wished for.

peter, as I mentioned in past columns, has been getting more bad-ass as the weeks have gone on.  Maybe it's the Irish air.  His quest for vengeance begins in Montreal (where all quests for vengeance begin), where he finds a note from some Adam Monroe dude, who obviously has some connection with The Company.  We then got another glimpse into the future, and it was a burnt out and abandoned Times Square (Yeesh, I knew that were cleaning it up, but that was ridiculous.  At least Wicked was still playing.  I bet it's easy to get tickets.)  I'm betting that it has something to do with the plague that Mohinder mentioned, and that's probably the disaster that has to be avoided this season.  There's always something...

A lot of other stuff happened as well, as this was probably the fullest episode so far this season.  We saw Sylar get all Darth Vader on Maya, convincing ehr to use her powers to get what she wants.  Ah the timeless art of seduction.  We saw HRG kickin' it old skool, killing his mentor, which is also kind of Vader-esque (BTW, I know I've seen that Ivan guy before.  If anyone knows that actor's name and what else he's been in, give me a holler.)  What I want to know is how a heroine-addled beatnik painter's work ended up in a garage in Ukraine.  And we saw Mohinder take a stand against the evil Bob, who looks about as menacing as my grandmother.  Mohinder also got hooked up with Niki, who is obviously in her sinister mode this week, because she's wearing black. 

So, they've laid some serious groundwork for the rest of the season with allusions to higher powers and plagues and twisted love stories.  It will certainly be interesting to see how it all ties together.  Until next time, Panettierians...  

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week: For anyone out there in TV Land who don't think that Dursin is just permeating the entire culture, take a gander at this.  This Maureen Ryan broad, who "writes" for the Chicago Tribune, is ssssooooooo ripping me off.  The real problem is she has press credentials, so she has access to all these backstage shenanigans.  BUT, I have the power if the Internet, so now her findings are my findings.  She's even got her own trivia in there, so I don't have to go hunting for it.  Well, press credentials or no, has she ever started a giant name controversy, as I did here? 

Last week, I lamented the fact that some of the more interesting storylines (Peter in Ireland, Hiro in Feudal Japan) were pushed aside in favor of less interesting storylines involving the Wonder Twins and Uhura's granddaughter.  This week, the writers went back to the more interesting storylines, except they treated them as if they had actually been covered in last week's episode.  The Peter/Amnesia storyline moved along pretty quick, as he decided to just open the box which had been treated as such a mystery over the last few weeks.  And there wasn't even anything cool in there.  I was glad to see the return of Isaac's power (even with the man himself being quite dead), and glad to see Peter finally mannin' up, but I don't get why this storyline is moving at Warp 9.  I think dragging it out a little would heighten the intrigue.  Oh well, hopefully the addition of Kristen Bell will "spark" some interest (nyuk, nyuk).  I'll be really upset if the "Daddy" that she was talking to on the phone ends up being Noah Bennett, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.  Little too Days of Our Lives for me, though.

Hiro and Kensei suffered much the same fate, as they were featured in about two minutes of the show.  I did like the bit with Ando translating the scrolls with that poor, confused scientist guy, but the action of the story didn't actually go anywhere.  It was a lot of explaining what happened, when it would have been far more interesting to actually see what was happening to them.  Basic Screenwriting 102; show, don't tell.  The realization that they have to fight the entire army struck me funny, until I thought, "Wait one doggone min ute.  Can't Hiro jump through time and space?  Didn't he teleport from Tokyo to New York last season?  Why doesn't he just jump into the castle?"  Ah, well, don't want to analyze too much there.  I guess Kensei has to earn his stars by freeing the guy himself.  This storyline is waning on me.

The only real revelation was the whole Parkman's dad situation, who was revealed to be a schnook.  I'm not quite sure what his power actually is, but it seems to be along the lines of telepathy, which is odd because that's what his son has.  No other hero-spawn has ever exhibited the same power as their parents.  I don't know if it's something to be explored, or coincidence or lousy writing, but I do wonder if Parkman was mad because his Dad wasn't played by a Star Trek alum like everyone else's.

That's all for this week, but I did find this tasty tidbit on Youtube. With Sulu and Uhura appearing as characters on Heroes, I thought I'd dig up this nugget:

  

Meaningless Heroes Trivia o' the Week - The character of Mohinder Suresh was originally supposed to be this fifty-something professor guy, but when Sendhil Ramamurthy came in to audition (even though he knew it was supposed to be an old dude, and Sendhil is just a couple years older than me), he nailed the part, so the character was tweaked and the old dude became his Dad and Mohinder became the sad sack that we know him as today.

We got a Hiro-less Heroes this week, which I found odd.  In fact, we also were Peter-less, which I think sounds kinda funny.  Whether by accident or design, two of the show's most popular characters were completely ignored this week, in favor of Sylar and the Wonder Twins and Nathan Petrelli's beard.  On the plus, side, we actually found a use for Annoying Micah: free pay-per-view.

This is certainly the drawback of a show that features so many characters, and then they want to introduce new ones.  Nothing against this Monica Dawson chick, but I'm just not into her yet.  They need to build her up in small doses.  Although, I'm actually hoping she watches more wrestling to learn her moves, because that was a serious riot.  Vince McMahon needs to try some sort of co-branding thing with NBC for his next Saturday Night's Main Event.  Imagine it; Claire in a wrestling match.  She could wear skimpy tights and she wouldn't get hurt.  She could get hit with a steel chair and not worry about the subsequent concussion.  On a side note, I am aware that both wrestling and Heroes are fake.

Anyway, to my knowledge, this is the first episode that Hiro has not appeared in, leaving Claire as the only character that has now appeared in every episode (and with good reason).  The unfortunate thing is that Claire's storyline is much less interesting than Hiro or Peter or just about anyone else at this time.  This whole being-sixteen-and-lying-to-her-Daddy thing is right out of a bad 80's sitcom starring Tony Danza.  Come on, people.  This show is supposed to be about ordinary people doing extraordinary things.  I'm not wrong, right?  And West is the biggest doof on the planet, right?  Seriously, It's not simple jealousy on my part because she gets to snog Claire.  I really think they could have gotten someone a little more... less annoying.  And I'm pretty sure that West is an evil murderer, anyway, so it will all end badly.  Mark my words on that one.

I can only assume that Hiro wasn't involved because David Anders was slated to do a certain number of episodes, and they want to make that story last, at least through the November sweeps.  I could be way off on this, and it was merely a creative choice, since Takezo Kensei, Anders' character, has been alive for over 1,000 years (that's from good ol' wikipedia, so, y'know, grain of salt.)  Really, though, even though Heroes has never really bowed to ratings, wouldn't it make sense for the big return of Hiro to be during Sweeps month?  He's a lot more interesting than the Wonder Twins. 

 That's about all I got this week.  Sorry if I tanked it, but this wasn't a very interesting episode when you consider that two of the main characters were on vacation.  Maybe next week, He-and-She-lixers!

First off, all Helixers or 'Rosians or whatever you guys are should throw this on your Christmas list, if you haven't already: Heroes: Volume 1 Hardcover Graphic Novel

This is the cover image, painted by comic legend Alex Ross.  This 34-chapter volume also highlights the art of Tim Sale, comic illustrator and the man behind Isaac Mendez's onscreen work.  It also features artwork by some other comic greats such as Michael Turner, Phil Jimenez, and even an introduction by Masi Oka, who, of course plays Hiro.  A definite must-have, so click on that link up there and pre-order yours now.  Snell!  Snell! 

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week: This is pretty obvious, but that was Nichelle "Uhura" Nichols playing "Nana Dawson," Micah's grandma, who will be taking care of Micah for the time being.  Man, these Star Trek folks will do anything.  I'm jonesing for Heroes to bring in Ricardo Montelbon next.  Uhura's appearance will apparently lead (next week) to the introduction of Micah's cousin, Monica (D.L.'s niece), who possesses the ability to automatically mimic any physical movement she witnesses.  This is all according to Wikipedia, which is sometimes completely wrong, so...

This week we have basic Screenwriting 101: put your characters behind the 8-ball and then try and get them out of it.  This is perfectly illustrated by the Claire/West/Noah situation.  Claire finds out that West was abducted by her Dad back when he was with The Company and bad deeds.  He even had the vampire teeth- mark thing on his neck, just like the other abductees.  However, we also saw that Mohinder found another painting in the series of eight that Noah is looking for, and this one depicts Noah quite dead, with Claire and West making out in the background.  So, I'm thinking there might be some trust undermined there.  of course, we all know that West is a wanker (and he moved in on Claire awful quick), so he's probably behind the whole shindig somehow.

We also have poor Hiro, stuck in feudal Japan trying to set history right, and here he is falling for the chick that he's supposed to be hooking up with David Anders.  Even after he seemingly fixes everything and sets Anders down the right path, and hopefully away from the bottle, he decides to stay and possibly unravel the space-time continuum some more.  And all for the love of a woman.  Ah, what men may do...  I did like the touch of leaving the message for Ando in the sword handle, but seriously, what was Ando doing with a sword in his office?  Man, if he boss was ripped at him playing a video game on the job, imagine what the dude would have said if he saw that?

This week also saw the return of Niki and her son, Annoying Micah, and their tribulations, which seems to always be their "last chnace to start over" schtick.  Anyway, D.L. is buh-bye (and thank God), and she apparently has some disease that only The Company can cure.  I'm not sure if it's her multiple personality disorder, or if she has the virus that Mohionder is on the look-out for, but it's bad enough that she's decided to turn to the dark side, so we'll have to see where that goes.  I'm thinking she'll probably beat a few people senseless and strip for a few guys before all's said and done.   

And, as promised, we have little Peter.  Not exactly behind the 8-ball, but definitely in a sticky-wicket.  He's stuck in Ireland, sans his memory, being coerced into thievery, and enjoying his newfound Darth Vader-ness.  The silver lining is, of course, that now he's found a hot, Irish chick.  I may be wrong, but Peter seems to be the only character who is getting any lovin' on this show.  He hooked up with Simone, even though she was still dating Isaac, in "Five Years Later," that crazy future that Hiro traveled to, he was with Niki, and now he's got this new honey.  I'm not sure if Milo Ventimiglia had this written into his contract or what, but he's sure turned into the Big Man on Campus on this show.  Good for him.  Hey, you might as well keep the lady Helixers (a.k.a. "She-lixers") happy, too.

That's all I got for this week.  I know I haven't even broached the subject of the Wonder Twins (Maya and Alejandro) or the return of Sylar, but I think I'll wait and see where that all goes before I get into them.  As far as everything else, we didn't have a lot of advancement in the Company conspiracy and who tried to whack Angela last week, so I guess we'll wait and see on that one, too.

Until next week, He-and-She-lixers.  No vid this week.  You'll just have to scan Youtube yourself, I'm afraid.  I have MLB playoffs to prepare for.  Go Sox!

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week - I heard this one from some random girl in a bar (who, after talking to me for an hour, decided then to tell me that she was dating the bartender.  Thank you!  you're a beautiful audience!  Good night!  Man, why didn't she tell me that right off the bat.  Could have saved myself the trouble.

Anyway, the trivia is that when Tim Kring was creating the characters for the show, his wife noticed that none of these people were particularly happy with their powers or their situation.  Thus was born Hiro Nakamora, the only one of the bunch who is cool with his powers, and arguably, the most popular.  If not the best looking.  But whatever.

This week on Heroes, a lot of stuff happened, not the least of which was we found out Claire IS A LIZARD!  Well, not really, but we did find out that she can cut her toe off and it will grow back and she can stick her hand in boiling water with no problem.  I think the writers need to work in some kind of story where she goes on Hell's Kitchen or something  and cleans up.

I'm going to put on my geek hat and run with this a bit.  I always surmised that Claire's powers worked much like Wolverine's in X-Men; super-fast healing.  I thought their cells just regenerated a lot faster than normal folk.  For example, if I cut my finger slicing vegetables, it takes a couple days to heal, while if Claire gets the same cut, it heals in seconds.  However, the pain would be the same (or maybe less for me since I'm a big, strong dude.)

Now, if I were to cut off my pinky toe with a pair of scissors, that would probably hurt like a mother.  But Claire kinda-sorta winced a little bit, then concerned herself with her stalker.  Admittedly, West the Stalker is scary, but, the toe would probably be my priority.  What if the dog got a hold of it?  I am interested to see how they explore Claire's powers as we move on.  Bruce Willis had similar abilities in Unbreakable, and he had never been sick in his life.  Does Claire have perfect attendance in school, or did maybe those days running around the country stopping Sylar count against her?

Moving on... The other highlight included what will undoubtedly become the big arc for this season: Noah's quest for the Seven Paintings of Isaac.  These will probably show the outcomes of most of the major plot points in this season, and probably reveal most of the cliffhangers.  As long as it gets more of Tim Sale's artwork on the show, and maybe a guest appearance by Isaac, then I'm cool with it.  He was always one of the more interesting characters, and I think he went before his time.  meanwhile, damn Angela Petrelli is still alive.  Someone explain that to me.

And finally, we had Hiro doing what he does best: being a hero, and not getting any credit.  All together now: Aaaawwwww.  I enjoy the interaction between Hiro and David Anders' character, but again, we are shown that he possesses a power that someone else on the show already has (Claire).  Unless he comes to the present and shows Claire how to be a super-fast healer (like they did last season with Peter and Dr. Who-guy), then it's just redundant and silly.  Are there not enough cool powers to go around?

That's about it for this week.  Next week, I'll cover how Peter became a man, and why the chicks dig him without a shirt.  For now, here's a vid on some Tim Sale artwork from the show, courtesy of Isaac:

 

Meaningless Heroes Trivia of the Week - Really meaningless, but it's the first episode of the season, so bear with me.  Anyway, Hayden Panetierre is the only cast member to appear in every episode so far.  Do you think it's because she's also the cutest one?  Although, she barely nudges out George Takei in my opinion.

Anyway, Heroes is back, and what have we learned?  Well, I'm glad you asked, gentele reader, because as usual, they crammed a lot into this one episode, so let's take a peek:

The Nerdy Guy from Memento has the Midas Touch -  Now, turning a spoon into gold, that's the power I want.  That thing would be on ebay so fast that heads would spin.  As far as this dude's role in the grand scheme of things, that I don't know, but clearly he and his organization are part of the bigger picture, and there is obviously some chicanery involved with Noah and Mohinder and this guy, so we'll probably see him again.  I just hope he starts turning people to gold.  A solid gold Mohinder would be on eBay so fast...

Hey, Parkman, Do You Get How Those Powers Work Yet? Okay, dude, you're smart enough to use your telepathy to figure out who is the "hostage" and the "crook" in your ridiculously easy cop test, but when you get home and ask Molly what's the deal with the psycho pictures she's drawing at school and she doesn't want to talk about it, you say, "Okay."  You don't have to talk about it.  You don't have to talk about anything.  Just read her mind, you dope.   While I'm on him, what's the deal with him being able to use his real name?  Didn't he do some detective work for the FBI?  Wouldn't they have some file on him, and maybe the NYPD would have done some research and said, "Hey, you're that guy who was reading everybody's mind a few months ago."  Wouldn't they do some background check on him?  Hell, you can google me and find out all kinds of crazy stuff.  They just need to start writing Parkman better.  The possibilities are almost endless with him, but he's such a goodie-two-shoes that they never go anywhere cool.  Maybe they have something in mind for him in Season 2.

Noah is Done Eating Crap - Now, here's a character they know how to write well.  Noah Bennet, a.k.a. Horn-Rimmed Glasses, gave it back to his boss at his job at Copy Kingdom, taking a stand for peons everywhere.  It shows that this guy may be on the right side of the law these days (or maybe not.  Who knows anymore?), but he does have a mean streak.  He's already proven the lengths he'll go to protect his family, and he will mess you up if you cross him.  I am very anxious to see where his story goes this season.  And I hope he keeps that job because that boss dude was hilarious.

Go West, Young Man - So, West is Claire's new love interest, and he has a super-power as well: the ability to wear puke-brown socks to gym class.  No seriously, it was pretty obvious from the beginning that this guy was going to have some power, so he and Claire can bond over that whole thing (Since she clearly needs help.  Her biological Dad was no help.)  But flying?  Haven't we seen that one already?  How about teleportation or the ability to spot an uber-nerd a mile away?  Oh, there's one.  His name's West!

I'm not really going to even delve into the big surprise at the end, because I'll end up predicting something that won't happen and look foolish (and I can't think of any funny jokes about anything else), but it was obvious that Peter would survive the big explosion from last season, and I'm sure he'll survive the three guys with the bad-Irish accents and be back in the thick of things next week.  As for Hiro trying to turn David Anders into a legendary hero, well, let's say he had that punch coming.  Man, that Anders is one funny dude.  I'm glad he's onboard.

And, as for Hiro's dad, Sulu, alas, a tragic loss.  He fell off the roof at warp one.  George, we hardly knew ye.

Until next time, Helixers, here's a vid about Hayden Panettiere and how hard it is dating me: